MotherHEARD: Filling my Cup
"There I was with a brand new baby in my arms, I had every reason to be filled with joy and excitement. But for some reason I couldn’t shake this awful feeling, I felt at my worst, I felt hopeless, defeated and alone. Like I couldn’t hold it together anymore, I hadn’t showered or brushed my hair in days. I had been practically living in my pijamas, something so easy to do became a task. I felt so selfish for feeling this way. As I was sitting there with my baby in my arms feeling unworthy to be her mom, I was just crying and apologizing to my baby for not being enough and I told her I loved her with all my heart. She looked straight at me with those beautiful brown eyes, she smiled and gave me her first giggle. Right there and then I knew I was not weak, selfish or hopeless because I had feelings, I was just human. I’m strong, I’m a mother and I’m worthy.My baby was fed, happy, healthy and so loved. I started pushing myself to get dressed, and go out. I would go for a walk with my baby and husband or go for a Target run, until I felt good enough to put some makeup on and have a date night or go out on my own again. Sometimes you have to let it go and cry, even scream if you have too. Then fix your crown and remind yourself what an amazing woman you are, and you are worthy. Mamas, you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
We honor you @Myteensylife