When you become a parent, your lifestyle and relationships change. Whether you return to the workforce, become a stay-at-home-mom or fall somewhere in between, things are bound to change for you. You probably have some mix of friends who are moms and some who aren’t. Some of your relationships will grow stronger, and others will begin to fade.
When you become a mom, you may be surprised by which relationships change. You might expect to become closer to your friends who also have children, but that might not happen. Single friends may embrace your new role as a mom and help work around your new schedule. On the other hand, they may not understand that things are different now.
Instead of making spontaneous plans, you probably have to plan ahead now. You now have another very important person to plan around—your little one.
Have you ever heard the saying that it takes a village to raise a child? Well, as your life shifts, it’s now time to create your mom-tribe of friends who support your journey.
Credit: Fallon Carmichael Santiago (@sageandsparkle)
Why a Mom Tribe?
Once people find out that you’re expecting the advice flows forth. And let’s face it, the “mom” world can unfortunately be full of judgment and comparisons. Breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding; cloth diapers vs. pampers; attachment parenting vs. cry-it-out. But you know what, there’s no right or wrong as long as you are doing your absolute best to provide for your little one. Each of us is unique, and our family dynamics are unique too. What works for one person doesn’t always work for another.
This is why finding your mom tribe is so important. As moms, we spend a lot of our time second-guessing the choices we’re making enough on our own. You’ve got to surround yourself with people who uplift you and support your decisions. In this world of well-meaning advice, sometimes as a mom you just need someone to listen to you and tell you everything is going to be ok. That you’re going to be ok. That you’re doing a great job.
Embrace Your Differences
While it’s wonderful to have friends and family who share the same values and have similar parenting styles, we can also learn from those around us who are different. The key to an awesome mom tribe isn’t to find people exactly like you (how boring would that be?) but to embrace the friends who support you, even when they don’t do things the same way.
Part of this is remembering that your single friends can be a part of your mom tribe, too. When we use the term “mom tribe” it isn’t about exclusivity and keeping others out. It’s about inviting your friends in and cheering one another on through all aspects of life. After all, your single friends might have kids in the future too—and they will need you to be a part of their mom tribe!
We can each learn so much from one another. The key to finding your tribe is to have an open heart. Just as you find your tribe of women who support your journey as a mom, remember to be supportive of your friends, too. Be the friend that you need in your life. And remember: your mom tribe is never complete. There is always room for more love, support and encouragement.